I had a best friend. Had.

Did I just think that?

It’s not like she’s gone. We’ve been friends since third grade. We’ve called each other best friends since then too. But then she left to another state and the text messages are spacing out to not months but special events.

Happy birthday.

Merry Christmas.

Happy new year.

Happy fourth of July.

It’s summer vacation. I’m going to visit. Oh, you’re not there? Okay. Next time then. See you.

I still call her my best friend though.

Then there’s another “best friend”.

Did I just quote that?

Well, I used to see her almost every day after our other friend moved away. We come from two neighboring high schools. We would eat lunch and talk. But then there were no more words to say. So the meetings spaced out to weeks, but I would be the only one speaking. And now it’s senior year, and we say nothing. Continue life like normal. Give each other the title of “best friend”.

What is a companion? Someone there by your side all the time? Someone with you while you travel in life both metaphorically and literally? To me, a companion is a best friend. And I don’t think I have one anymore.

Except him. The guy who I’ve known since birth but split till seventh grade. He’s in the other high school though with my “best friend”. But he tries to talk to me. He tries to snap me out of the subdued silence I’m in. He actually responds to my messages I send him in the middle of the night. He actually asks if I’m okay and asks again even when I say, “I’m fine.”

But I wouldn’t call him my best friend. I’ve reserved that title for two other people. He’s just my best companion in life right now. And I’m thankful for him.

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