The Dream with the Mirror

I’ve heard many times not to look at a mirror in a dream. I often wondered why. Would I see something terrible? Something I wouldn’t want to see? Would I see myself for who I really am, or who I think I am? Would that haunt me?

I tried several times as I went to sleep to look at a mirror in a dream, but I would often forget to do so.

Then, one night, I was walking around in a dream, pacing around my room. I had a weird sweater on that had Winnie the Pooh on it. I went to the mirror in my room to have a better look at how I looked.

I looked dumb. Not because it was Winnie the Pooh but because the sweater was torn in the front, ragged and worn-out.

I took off the strange yellow sweater and tossed it inside and looked at the mirror once again, remembering words that warned me not to look at a mirror in a dream. Would I hate myself? Would I regret everything?

I looked at myself wearing a black tank top. I looked good. What was more – I thought I looked very good in my dream. I saw the huge smile in my face before my dream ended.

When I woke up, I wondered what that meant.

I thought I looked physically good in a dream. That never happened before… in real life. For several years, I would keep a jacket on to hide what I looked like. I stuck to average clothes, wearing just jeans and a shirt and simple shoes. That was it. That was all. There was nothing physically special or physically appealing about me. I had glasses. Medium-length hair. That was who I was, and that’s what I was known for (which made it easy for people to spot me out).

I have a friend who pointed out how much I wore jackets last year. We rode the bus last year, but it was the first time we actually had the same bus. He pointed out that even when it was hot, I would wear my jacket and asked why.

I said I was used to the heat. That I preferred to have my jacket on and never take it off. (A small note: I live in south Texas where it’s extremely hot, hot, mildly hot, or cold.) He would shrug and take off his jacket.

But to say the honest truth, it was always hot with a jacket on all the time.

One day, the bus’s AC broke down, and it was a hot day, especially since we were having a drought. Our bus ride would be at least half an hour long. After ten minutes, I could not take it anymore and removed my jacket, which was an extreme shock to my friend.

Later throughout the year, I gave up wearing jackets altogether. It was hot. Our AC was broken. There was a black out at school, and we suffered from the heat for several hours in the dark. I even tied my hair back, something I swore I would never do since I hated how I looked with tied back hair.

I thought about all this after my dream. I realized then that it was a hopeful dream. A dream and a wish that one day, I will finally achieve and maintain such confidence I had in myself in that dream in reality.

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