Reasons Why I’m…

Reasons Why I’m Bitter

  • stress
  • personal problems
  • health problems
  • possibly a bad day
  • annoyance
  • physical fatigue
  • illness
  • pain
  • heartbreak

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Throughout all of high school, I had a backpack on my back. I got used to the feeling. I made sure to check behind my back on my desk to see if I left my backpack when I felt weightless.

In my later years of high school, I heaved around my laptop or books – something – added with the weight of my backpack. I carried these things with me all the time. To the classroom, to the cafeteria, to the restroom, outside, inside – I got used to the feeling.

The feeling of something on me – a burden – was expected. It felt weird without a bag on my back and something in my hands. Sometimes I would start to get out of class but swear I was holding something earlier. I would turn around, and there it was – a book, a laptop, a project, something.

The feeling saved me thousands of time since I get so forgetful, but of course, I didn’t always have something weighing me down.

Which is why I felt empty when I held nothing.

On days of standardized tests, we were asked to leave our belongings back at home or in our tiny lockers – either that or your stuff would be kept in the front office until the end of the school day.

I left behind everything I had at home. I came with nothing to school.

It was a weird feeling – an odd feeling. I had nothing weighing me down. I had nothing in my hands. I had nothing on my back.

I walked faster, moved faster, maneuvered between people easier.

My point is, sometimes, burdens in life are necessary and actually help you. Whatever you do, though, never forget the feeling of freedom without anything weighing you down.

A Random List?

Hey! Sorry I haven’t posted in a long time. I’ve been studying for a huge and major exam, and at the moment, I still am! 😅 So… I haven’t had time to post anything, and this is probably the worst time for me to post (the day before my exam, when I should be seriously cramming). But, hey, every now and then, people need to chill–seriously. If you get too worked up, you might mess everything up. My English teacher once told me that the day before the SAT, she crammed so much (maybe even what I’m doing right now), but her friend just partied all night. Her friend scored higher than her seriously stressed, hard-working friend. ‘Nuff said.

Where was I? Oh yeah, I’ve been busy, but I was scrolling through some ideas on what to post, and one of the suggestions was to make a list, so that’s what I’m doing today!

List of Things I Said I Wouldn’t Do But Did Anyway:

  • play with fire (not a good idea)
  • attempt to do a handstand when I know I can’t do one (ouch)
  • secretly throw away food so my parents would let me play
  • eat tons of candy in a single night (I cleared out a cabinet full of candy)
  • eat tons of food
  • give in to peer pressure
  • hide individuality to give way to conformity
  • fall in love
  • not study for an exam
  • get distracted
  • procrastinate
  • cheat
  • become a bully
  • cry in public (at school) (so hard that the teacher said that I wouldn’t do my presentation [I lost my voice] and that I should go to the restroom)

But, hey, even though this is a really, really bad list, I at least learned… There are some good things too…

List of Things I Never Thought/Dreamed to Do But Did Anyway:

  • enter a spelling competition (I was recommended by my teacher)
  • learn karate
  • join a choir
  • write a story
  • do a handstand (a long time ago, when I was still somewhat flexible)
  • get a perfect score in math
  • get a perfect score in English and literature
  • cut a starfish’s arm off (that was pretty awesome yet gruesome)
  • hold a rat’s heart (this was all in biology class…)
  • eat my veggies for my parents
  • learn to confess and forgive
  • believe in something I don’t see (religion)
  • become the bullied
  • pass a whole year of school with straight A’s
  • compete in something I love (technology )
  • compete in something I didn’t want to do/didn’t even plan to do (video game design and animation)
  • win a regional competition as first place–twice
  • win a state competition as first place
  • (I found this out a couple days ago –>) have the highest grade in a technology/any class

Life is pretty bitter-sweet in the sense that you have so many bad things happen to you, but unless you realize it, you also have a lot of good things.


I am to the point of studying where I haven’t talked for so long that I feel like I have no mouth. 😶

Have a great day! 😁